So, I've dropped the ball on my 31 for 21 postings, and the month is almost over. My bad. I just finished reading a book called A Good and Perfect Gift, which is a memoir written by a mom whose daughter has Down syndrome. I was struck by how many of the author's experiences with this whole journey were so similar to mine...many were very different, as we are obviously very different people, but it was both striking and comforting how much of it resonated with me. One passage in particular I liked was this one, which discusses an idea called "responsive parenting,"which I think relates not simply to children with disabilities/special needs, but "average" children as well.
Here's the passage:
"...most parents of kids with disabilities focused on their child's weaknesses. Instead we should try to identify Penny's strengths and help her grow into these strengths. That way she would maintain interest and enjoyment as she played, and we would recognize how capable she really was. Ideally, the process would begin a happy feedback loop, where progress was made not because of fighting to get to the next goal, but because of getting to know our daughter as an individual who could do things in her way, in her time." (Amy Julia Becker)
I hope that I'll be able to keep this in mind with BOTH of my children--I know from my own personal experiences as well as those I've had teaching that kids are more willing to learn, able to remember things better, and profit more from something if they are interested in it, involved in it, and receive positive feedback on it. Charts and averages don't give me a real indicator of my children's worth, just as an IQ test doesn't really tell me what they do and don't "know" or how smart they are; the happiness and feeling of self-satisfaction that lights up their eyes is what I hope to gauge their accomplishments by!
As my rascal boy said, oh my goodness.... I love them so! Now off to iron--tomorrow is school picture day!
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